Dr. Marilyn S. Miller is a registered psychologist providing career and personal counseling in Toronto. She has worked with performers and business professionals since 1981 and is “particularly aware of the special needs of creative people.”
A matter of confidence
People who suffer from stage fright tend to tell themselves things like, “I will never survive this,” or “I will never overcome this,” and it’s this thinking that causes the destructive response. Often stage fright is inspired by a fear of failure, or of public humiliation or embarrassment. We need to believe that failures are learning experiences, not closed doors. We often learn more from our mistakes and failures than we learn from our successes. I don’t know who said it, but I like the statement, “Failure is not having failed, it’s failing to get up again.”
Get used to it!
Stage fright never goes away, and this is an aspect of reality that people need to come to terms with. Being professional means learning to perform regardless of stage fright. What you need to focus on is: “I am obligated to do what I’ve auditioned to do, or what I’ve been accepted to do, regardless of my feelings.” Acknowledge your anxiety, yes, but then complete the message with the thought that, “Nevertheless, regardless of how I feel, I am going to do my best.”
A motivating energy
When we are in a high state of arousal, whether we’re frightened or euphoric, the physiology is very similar; it’s the message we’re telling ourselves when we’re in that state of arousal. It’s a matter of redefining the anxiety, of giving a positive interpretation to those feelings. Stage fright is just a normal part of performing, a form of anxiety which can also be a beneficial, motivating energy as opposed to a scary feeling.
Mature ego
A mature person’s identity and self-concept are not overly tied to their performance. They understand that a given performance is simply a temporary action or situation, and they know that they are bigger than this one moment, and that they will survive regardless of the outcome of the next hour or two on stage.
On stage you’re an actor
An important skill for any performer is plain old acting, the ability to fake confidence and calmness. It’s a life skill we learn early on; as children being teased by other kids we pretend that it doesn’t bother us, and right there we’re learning valuable skills. Now, some performers respond that if they’re faking it then they aren’t being authentic. Well, it’s not about being authentic, it’s about being responsible. You have a job to do.
Focus on the performance
These observations about fear and responsibility are things you need to understand psychologically; don’t repeat them like a mantra before going on. When you’re out on stage, don’t think about whether you’re succeeding or not, just focus on the performance, think about your message, about the feelings you’re trying to convey to your audience. Focus on what you want the audience to see, or hear or feel.
Group support
Members of your group or your crew can remind you, “Look, this is just one performance, it’s not your career. Do the best you can and try to enjoy it.” Sometimes saying something humorous can be enough to deflect tension and ease anxiety. And also remember that the other members of your group are there in the same boat with you and if something should go wrong, they’re there to help cover for you, and that can give you confidence.
Relaxation techniques
Before you go on, take a few deep breaths, but remember, always exhale first. When people are anxious they tend to engage in shallow breathing, which means that they are not emptying their lungs fully after each breath. So they’re full of stale air, lacking oxygen, and when they try to breathe in they say, a little panicked, “I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe.” So remember, blow out first and then take a few deep breaths.
Another thing to do before a performance is clench your fist very hard, then release and stretch your fingers all the way out. Do this two or three times and it should relax the muscles. Those two exercises performed together should be enough to take the edge off, to provide a little bit of physical relaxation just before a performance. Another thing I recommend is taking a throat lozenge, which relaxes the throat, and take a drink of water to hydrate your mouth and throat.
Can’t please all the people
You have to accept that people in the audience have different preferences and like different things. It doesn’t mean that what you’re delivering is invalid. If people don’t love your performance it doesn’t mean they don’t like you, it simply means they like or prefer something different.
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